11.12.2020

During the US election I doom-scrolled so hard that at one point, I reached out of the shower to pick up my phone.

Yes, I’m embarrassed to admit this.

It’s just that the memes were so on point and the drama so spectacular and frankly, so stress-inducing, that I couldn’t look away. What if I missed something good? Something world-changing? Something vital?

Twitter became my first input in the morning and the last thing I saw at night.

I needed the whole of the internet inside my brain. I couldn’t miss a thing.

But reader, I wasn’t addicted to the information; I was addicted to the stress.

Stress and dopamine go hand-in-hand

Did you know that stress releases dopamine?

A study published in the Journal of Neuroscience found ‘significant dopamine release’ in healthy people who were facing an ‘aversive stressful task.’

This makes sense when you consider that dopamine isn’t a reward signal. It’s more like a green light that says yes, go forward, approach. More please!

As with any addiction, your body becomes habituated to the chemical response of stress, and over time, will require more of it.

This can very quickly spiral into the unhealthy levels of stress that impair logical thinking and even lead to physical issues.

Oh, and fun fact—ambitious people tend to be more dopamine-driven than average. Makes sense, right? Your next big accomplishment gives you dopamine. I learned this from “Molecule of More.”

Are you addicted to stress?

Awareness is key. Here are three indicators that you might be addicted to stress:

1. You’re scrolling compulsively.

Like me, you find yourself endlessly refreshing the feed, or even hopping from one feed to another, looking for another hit. You get stuck in endless loops on your phone, switching from app to app and unable to put it down, even though you have things to do.

This frenzied state has become your comfy baseline. If you were to sit in stillness and be present, you’d probably feel downright uncomfortable.

2. Your to-do list is endless, and you treat it all as equally important.

We all have a lot to do—but if you’re a stress addict, you’re not as likely to apply discernment when scoping out your daily tasks. Rather than prioritizing a realistic amount of must-haves for the day, you might pile one on project-sized items that could each take days to complete. The voice of stress, or high achievement, tells you that you should be able to get all these things done… if you’re organized enough. Of course, that isn’t true. Your scope is too broad, but it’s hard for you to give anything up. Still, you’re disappointed in yourself when things rolls over to the next day—and rather than question your approach, you keep chasing a sense of completion that remains out of reach.

3. You feel like you need to respond to every message ASAP.

Allll the notifications are enabled on all of your devices. When a new email or Slack message comes in, you know it. You can’t ignore it. Unread badges are like an uncomfortable itch you have to scratch. If you don’t respond quickly, you...? Maybe you fear you’ll inconvenience someone. You’ll look like you’re not committed. You’ll feel irresponsible. Just like the to-do list, each piece of communication feels important and even urgent.

To fix it, find your teall

Plainly, the world we’re living in is conducive to stress. To fight your addiction will be a long swim upstream. But it’s doable. There is a better way.

Start by identifying your ‘tell’: one key indicator that signals to you you’re in a stress loop. You might witness yourself engaging in one of the behaviors I’ve listed. Often, there’s a physical component.

When you’re stuck, do you tense up? Are your shoulders hunched up to your ears? Is your breathing constricted? Can you feel tightness in your chest?

Just notice this. Each time you do, take a deep, diaphragmatic breath to soften and reset.

Over time, you can build better behaviors. But always, your ability to course-correct lies in your ability to notice that you’ve strayed off track.

Want some help?

Take my free leadership quiz

The quiz will help you identify your leadership type (most people major in one out of three possible types), and educate you on the main ‘shadow’ behaviors of your type—as well as your gifts!

The shadows are behaviors to watch out for that can indicate when you’re in a stress response. They can be sneaky! That’s why they’re called shadows. They’re normal habituated behaviors to the person doing them, and their detrimental effect can be just out of view.

You’ll also be emailed a guided visualization tailored to your type after you take the quiz. This audio track will help you to anchor in feelings of energy and enthusiasm for you work, and remind you of what’s important, too.

Take the quiz here.