The Hidden Way You Self-Sabotage at Work

03.23.2021

“If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.”

— Frank A. Clark

A friend and I adventured down the coast of Mexico in a 1979 Volkswagen Kombi one weekend.

It was a perfect trip…until we departed at 3 pm on a Sunday to find that the break fluid had leaked and we were careening around town in a veritable death machine.

We pulled over to reassess. At this hour, on a Sunday? It wasn’t possible to find a mechanic. The sun was already on its slow descent, and we had a three hour drive home ahead.

We couldn’t stay the night because we’d miss some very important meetings in the morning.

But we didn’t have much choice—we’d have to change our plans.

Tension gripped my chest as I realized that things weren’t going my way, and I had zero control over that.

I like things to go my way, exactly as I’ve planned. Maybe you do, too?

Therein lies the sneaky form of self sabotage that I’m speaking to:

Sometimes, we get attached not only to where we're going, but how we're getting there.

In our work, especially, we cling to the specificity of our processes and plans, as well as our role in them.

This feeds our sense of importance, and gives us the illusion of control. If we just follow the steps we’ve mapped, we’ll get to the place we want to go.

When we are deeply invested in a specific outcome, we're also more likely to over invest in the process of achieving it.

Here are three ways that manifests at work:

(1) You refuse to delegate. It’s not that you’re a greedy task monster. You just don’t even think about asking for help.

You might have people on your team who are available, willing and perhaps even duty-bound to support you, but you’ve already so clearly mapped out the how of this particular task, you know it like the back of your hand and you want to do it… so why not?

That’s how you plateau. You under utilize your valuable hours by staying comfortable and in control.

The fix? Remember: you want to go deeper into places that challenge you, can’t be filled by others and bring your full brilliance to the table. What more meaningful or challenging thing might you be avoiding? What can you delegate in order to focus on that?

(2) You rush or enforce artificial timelines. Often these timelines are driven by your metrics of choice. You want to have N users by this date. You want to bring in this much revenue by that date. Listen, even the most substantial business metrics can become vanity metrics with the wrong intention behind them.

If you aren’t taking care of yourself or the team, or you aren’t building product in integrity with your company’s values, what’s really driving you? Achievement. That’s it.

And while achievement feels good, and we need it, over attaching to timelines will drive us insane.

The fix? Make learning and growth your goals. Seek out the intangible gains you’re earning from your efforts, which will pay dividends over time, even as the goal posts move farther afield.

(3) You add too many fillers to your plate. Are you playing tetris with your calendar and to-do list, trying to free up more room and hearing yourself say, “I have to do this,” and “No, I can’t skip that,” but never stopping to question those statements?

“I have to” is just as indicative of your true priorities as “I can’t.” Everyone knows that “I can’t” usually means, “I have chosen to prioritize something else.”

“I have to” often means that you have chosen to prioritize a full schedule and a busy mind over an intentional schedule and a spacious mind. It only sometimes means that the task in question is a must-have.

The fix? Call yourself out on “I have to” and “I can’t.” Is it really true? What goal are you trying to advance? How well does this thing help you to do that? Is it the only way? Why can’t it wait? Who can help you with it? See items 1 and 2. 😉

All of these things cost you valuable time, freedom and peace of mind.

In reality, there are a hundred different ways to get from A to B. Detours don’t equal doom. And the faster your speed, the more likely you are to hit your head on the roof flying over an unanticipated speed bump.

(It happened to us.)

As for the end of our trip?

The rental agency guy drove down and rescued us. He delivered us another Kombi: smaller, blue and with a lesser radio but comfier seats.

It wasn’t how we anticipated getting home, but we made it.

And in most cases where you apply consistent effort, you will, too. Hold your goals a little more loosely. It’s okay to take the proverbial scenic route.

Did this post strike a chord with you?

Apply for a free strategy session, and we can help you to loosen that grip on your goals.