09.13.2022

“In a period of extended waiting, it’s all too easy to assume that something is wrong. We assume that ‘something’ is us.”

— Tanya Marlow

This text was copied directly from an email I sent to my list on September 9, 2022. If you’d like to receive my emails, hop on the newsletter here.

Ever hang up from a Zoom call and plant your face on the desk, wanting to wave a proverbial white flag because something you hoped would be easy, fast or successful is anything but?

Suddenly you're at the base of a mountain you hadn't prepared to climb, and your Converse and ripped jeans won't cut it.

I call this feeling "victimized by reality."

Really, you might have expected that the mountain would demand more of you. 

But as a high performer, you're here for results... and when results are exceptionally difficult or delayed, it's tempting to proclaim failure.

That's it! It's not working. If you were smarter, more talented or more successful, it would be working just fine—but you're not, so. We're done here.

With thoughts like these, you can hardly escape, because you won't be able to cart your massive ego with you. 

See, to relentlessly undermine yourself is not humility; it's actually a sneaky way of centering yourself at the cost of your mission. There's a certain level of entitlement in doing just for the sake of getting.

Life is not a gumball machine: easy in, easy out. At the upper levels of the satisfaction hierarchy, she wants your devotion.

She wants you to do so that you can feel your creative power...

Develop mastery...

Advance a mission.

It's the ego that thinks, I should have X by now or I should be better at Y, because the ego cares only for you, and nothing for your impact on the world.

Queen Elizabeth II was born into more money and status than the average person can dream of having. (Regardless of whether that was right.)

At 96, she was still fulfilling her queenly duties. (Regardless of whether they were valuable; although, consensus in her country seems to be that they were.) I can't help but think her duties were worth doing because she'd tapped into the transcendent nature of devotion—to love, service, nobility... ideals.

The next time your ego wants to tell you that your work isn't good enough, and you should quit? I hope you can see how subtly selfish that is. 

Your ego doesn't care about your impact—but you do. 

Real impact requires real devotion. It requires time, repetition, and as Queen Elizabeth might say, courage to struggle for a better future. Whatever that means to you.

What is one quality you think the world needs in greater quantity? Infuse that ideal into the hardest things you do, and keep doing.

Until next time—

​Rachel