#FutureOfWork Skills: Honesty

02.25.2021

“If we are not ashamed to think it, we should not be afraid to say it.”

— Marcus Tullius Cicero

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So which is it that causes you to write sh*t like, “Let’s take this offline” instead of “I don’t think that’s worth our time”?

Are you afraid to say it?

Or ashamed to think it?

Here’s why you’d be afraid to say it:

  • You don’t want to rock the boat.

  • You don’t want to disappoint the person who brought it up.

  • You don’t want to seem lazy.

Here’s why you’d be ashamed to think it:

  • You’re secretly terrified of conflict.

  • You wrote that person off long ago and despite your best intentions, you can’t take them seriously.

  • You’re lazy.

To say what’s on your mind is a borderline radical act.

To discern what’s actually true (for you) is the difficult prerequisite—because the first person we lie to is ourselves.

How often do we pause to ask, “Wait, what do I think about this?” or “What would help me get this done?”

The dirty, shameful truth is that we might urgently need some down time in the afternoon, scheduled meetings be damned.

Or that we’re sick of being taken for granted as the most reliable person to clean up a last minute mess.

Or that our whole career path is no longer right for us, and that’s why we’re struggling with the simplest tasks.

Yup, I can see why you’d rather avoid all that.

Part of why we avoid our real feelings is because we assume we can’t share them. See above.

But that couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, if one truth is universal, it’s this:

People respect those who respect themselves.

And that’s what we do when we tell the truth.

Honesty is an act of self-respect, and it commands more admiration than you know. But you won’t even crave that external validation once you start “acting as if” you don’t.

Moving forward, I’d like for you to discern and speak your personal truth—considerately, of course.

Here are my bibles of choice on that:

Radical HonestyNonviolent CommunicationHow to Win Friends and Influence People

Thanks in advance, and please let me know if I can help.